“And on the pedestal these words appear:
 ”My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
 Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!”
 Nothing beside remains: round the decay
 Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
 The lone and level sands stretch far away.
 Next time, use Ronseal Double-Action Wood Preserver.”

“To imagine the future, imagine a boot smashing into a human face forever. Ooh, nice boots! http://www.clarks.com.”

“This is not just a liquor never brewed,
 From tankards scooped in pearl;
 This is M&S liquor.”

“The barge, like a burnished throne burned on the water; the poop was beaten gold, purple the sales and so perfumed that the wind was lovesick with them. Then it hits you – this is way more than a cruise! Royal Caribbean International.”

“Beauty is truth, truth beauty – that is all
 Ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know.
 Maybe she’s born with it – maybe it’s Maybelline.”

“It seemed to be a sort of monster, or symbol representing a monster, of a form which only a diseased fancy could conceive. If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings; but it was the general outline of the whole which made it most shockingly frightful. Talk to Frank.”

“I grow old! I grow old!
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled!
Unless I take advantage the great menswear bargains available in the BHS winter sale.”

“So twice five miles of fertile ground
 With walls and towers were girdled round:
 And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
 Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
 And here were forests ancient as the hills,
 Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.
 Visit Centre Parcs – for a British holiday the weather can’t spoil.”

“Because I could not stop for Death
 He kindly stopped for me
 The carriage held but just ourselves
 And Immortality.
 We’d have been able to fit four kids and the family dog in as well if Death had been driving the new Vauxhall Zafira.”